Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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