Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
