So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
