so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
