on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
