you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
