I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ladies don't puke and tell
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
