Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
