Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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