what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
