8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize