It's just like the Real World with babies
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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