Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
