why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
