You can't special order awesome
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
