ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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