You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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