shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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