Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
