The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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