just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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