Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
