Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
