So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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