God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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