So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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