I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
