After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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