need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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