Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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