Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
