I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
