its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
