I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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