Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
