Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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