I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
