I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
