I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
