Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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