goodnight i made you a song goodbye
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
