She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
