pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
