Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
