In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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