i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
