obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
