Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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