Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize