I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
