so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize