My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
