He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
