I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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