brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
