so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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