Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the day after is always just damage control
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
jump out the window naked night went bad
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
