this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
