READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
